Lol. Thank you so much my Sister for responding.
Can I ask, did something happen that made you stop getting upset when you saw it, or did it just suddenly stop upsetting you? If something happened, is it OK to ask what happened?
Peace & Love,
Bro. Ictoan
Yes, it's okay to ask, and yes something happened. I sat down and analyzed why such a sight upset me.
I don't like being upset(do any?), so I wanted freedom from if it didn't have to be so.
I wondered if I were upset for jealousy, but recognized I didn't particularly want to myself all black men who were with non-black women. So, right off the bat, I understood I was being pretty unfair, to think, "I don't want you, but you shouldn't be with that woman who DOES want you."
I didn't know their life, and so maybe they'd been having a hard time picking up black women; that, too, helped me to understand that my being upset was pretty unreasonable. How can I judge what I just don't know?
Also, I started to see that much of me being upset was just connected to feeling subtle rejection. To me, it came across as, if by chance I did want that guy to be mine, he probably wouldn't have even given me a chance because I'm black and not whatever race he's currently dating. That hurt to think that because who likes being rejected as if they've nothing to offer because they're a certain skin tone?
Seeing that black women already have to deal with being told we're the least attractive and desirable of all women by so many people, it felt unfair that even a guy of my own race would reject me for someone who probably, or rather,
likely doesn't have to deal with the same kind of problems for her skin color.
But I came to understand that they didn't reject ME; not personally, so that was irrational to go by. And for all I knew, they might not even like other women of that particular race, but just the one who was on their arm at the time. I didn't know, so why be upset for all these things?
It wasn't easy to come to this realization, but it was worth it, because I felt less judgmental for something that's not my choice, not under my control, and not my call.